Saturday, May 24, 2008

Singled out

It was "Happy Hour" at the restaurant when I walked in to meet my friends last night. As usual, I was the first to arrive and scanned the bar looking for a familiar face. Being in a pensive mood to begin with, I looked around and thought that "Happy Hour" might be a misnomer.
I began to take a little survey: it seems as though 'couples' sit IN the bar and 'singles' sit AT the bar. I know this a generalization, but as I sat (IN the bar and alone) I kept watching folks as they came in. Yep. If you're part of a couple you sit at a table. If you're alone--you head to the bar.
I continued to take mental notes noticing that most of the 'couples' were not even talking to each other. They ate their food, occasionally looked up at the Laker game and drank their $12 martinis.
The folks AT the bar talked to one another. Faced one another. Laughed with each other.
But, would they rather be sitting IN the bar with someone? They seemed to glance around the room a lot...and there were lots of couples in that place last night.
Actually, the whole world seems to be coupled up. There really is constant pressure to find someone to sit IN the bar with. And go on vacation with. And live life with.
Truth is though, I don't know too many people who are happily married (oxymoron?) Most of my married girlfriends are envious of my current living situation and tell me so constantly.
And yet, from my seat IN the bar last night, I scanned the men AT the bar and in the restaurant and wondered if I would ever find someone to join me...IN the bar. And in life.
For some reason, I really want that.
Interestingly, I think that each side has the other side fooled. Those coupled up IN the bar, look at those AT the bar and think they have it made. And those singled out, at the bar, long for someone to sit IN the bar with...and do life with.
My friends joined me and we ordered a bottle of wine.
Still single, but no longer alone.
Ah ha! People to sit IN the bar with. And talk with. And laugh with. And enjoy life with.
A darn good compromise.

2 comments:

Lisa Marie said...

I sat AT the bar at Claim Jumper with a girlfriend on Saturday night and noticed the SAME THING!!

brad johnson said...

a further observation, it's not a step up to move from bar stool to table only to share an occasional glance at a Laker's game above the sugared rim of an over priced martini.

It's better to be AT the bar with engaging conversation, meaningful replenishing relationships than to be IN the bar with a close stranger who shares your last name---even if cute matching rings are involved.