Sunday, January 31, 2010

I was so much older then

I have a hard time talking to friends my age when they start saying they are old.
I guess I just don't understand it.
I have never felt younger or better than I do today.
I have never been so healthy!
I have never ever ever enjoyed life so much!

The guess the truth is, I have already been old!

I was old when my friends were living away at college and I was in a tiny apartment, working two jobs and taking care of my two little babies.
I did old when they were backpacking Europe, laying on a beach somewhere and planning their perfect wedding and I was taking kids to Girl Scouts and Karate and Little League and being Room Mother and Team Mom and School Board Vice President.
And, while these friends were starting careers and doing happy hour and climbing the corporate ladder, I got REALLY old while waiting for teenagers to come home, teaching them to drive, and helping them survive their first heartbreak.
In the mean time, I cooked, cleaned, did laundry and ran a household while working full time and taking college classes part time. I was thrashed at the end of every day.
Yep...I've already been old.

And I am so much younger now...

Today I work a job I absolutely love and have a nice, clean, quiet home. I (finally) finished college and don't have to drive carpool or make lunches anymore.
And I haven't had to build anything out of sugar cubes for nearly 20 years.
I do what I love and love what I do...every single day.

I just don't think it has anything to do with our age.
It's simply life stage.

I have just started living and plan to go a very long time.
There are just too many things I haven't done a black diamond run, skydive, be at a Dodgers World Series game...fall in love...and so much more.
I am blessed with good health and the energy to keep on going!
Of course I'm getting older...but I am not getting old.

When we are 80 and skiing in Mammoth or playing tennis or standing atop the Eiffel tower...
I will remind them of how they thought they were old when we were in our mid 40s.
I promise you, at that point, they will know what a fool they were to have not appreciated our youth.
This is the youngest we will ever be!
These are the best days of our life.
Be young and enjoy it with me.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

...there's still time to change the road you're on.
~Led Zeppelin

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A pooh attitude

I was laying in the bathtub tonight (yep, with a glass of wine) thinking--and crying--but mostly thinking...I am in the most amazing place in life right now. I am literally living the life that I always DREAMED of. I own a beautiful home, I have an incredible job, I have an AWESOME car. And I have two great kids who are fun, loving, kind, educated, independent adults. I have thousands of photographs and amazing memories from all the trips and adventures I have experienced over the years. I have great relationships with my extended family...and most of them live within a few miles. And I have friends! I have SO many deep, genuine friendships!
In the last few weeks I've been out with friends for drinks, to dinner, to the gym, to the movies...even sat one night with an high school friend talking til 3am. (And I am SO looking forward to my trip to Spring Training with my baseball loving cousins and friends!)
I say it and I mean it--LIFE IS GOOD!
Tonight is the first night in I don't know how long that I am not out. I am wrapped up in a blanket here on the couch...relaxing and reading and catching up on my recorded TV shows.
And it's kind of nice.

The thing is, there is still one thing I am hoping for--one thing that I still feel is missing: a man to love me and man for me to love. (Ideally, this will be the same man.) Someone who will hold my hand and kiss me and laugh with me and lay with me and relax with me.
..and look at me and smile. Someone to just BE with me.
Hmm, I just figured it out...
I've got plenty of people to do things with.
I just don't have anyone I can do nothing with.

That's all. It's fine. Life goes on and once again I will admit--if this is as good as it gets, it's pretty dang good.
Almost feel guilty hoping for that one more thing.


Monday, January 25, 2010

Dodgers in the Infield

When I moved into my new home three years ago,
this was the first picture I hung on my wall.
Ron Cey, Bill Russell, Davey Lopes and Steve Garvey
Having played eight and a half seasons together for the Dodgers, they are baseball's longest playing infield.
Besides Bobby Sherman, I think they were my first loves.

Allison Wonderland

Allison lead worship last night at Mariner's Church...
and it was absolutely amazing.
She is amazing! Though so much of her heart is in Kenya--and right now she would love more than anything to be helping in Haiti--there is no doubt that she is exactly where she is supposed to be!
Her voice, her passion, and her ability to encourage others to worship--not to mention her incredible confidence!--is truly a gift.
Someday, I hope I can be just like her.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

"It's the fans that need spring training.
You gotta get 'em interested.

Wake 'em up and let 'em know
that their season is coming...

the good times are gonna roll!"
~Harry Carey
If you work really hard and you're kind,
amazing things will happen.
~Conan O'Brien

Never, never, never give up...
~Winston Churchill

Friday, January 22, 2010

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Discover. Explore. Dream.

~Mark Twain

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sunny Delight!

Spent the entire day celebrating Sunny's 10th birthday! Eating and shopping and shopping and eating...SUCH a great day!
The end of the night drive home--with the top down and "Crocodile Rock" cranking on the sterio--was the topper on an absolutely 'de-lightful day'!

Happy Birthday Sun Bun!

Monday, January 18, 2010


Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I hope I win an award someday so that I can say,
"I'd like to thank my husband...but I don't have one!"

Saturday, January 16, 2010

This, too, shall pass...

My babies--1985
I was thinking today that I was a pretty good mom to my kids as they were growing up. I was always extremely organized, usually very calm and honestly, rarely stressed about anything. I think the key was that I understood that the time was going by. And I knew that someday--I would miss all of it! I always knew that someday--it would all be a vague memory.
Whether it was the times when my baby woke in the middle of the night...or the times my teenager got home in the middle of the night...I knew that someday that moment would be far in the past, and that I would more than likely miss those "good ol' days." I held and kissed my baby in the middle of the night.
I hugged and kissed my teenagers too.
I enjoyed every minute of being a mom to my kids...every single minute.

I live most of my life that way today too. "Today's crisis is tomorrow's funny story" is a good motto to live by. It helps me to never take anything too seriously. Whether it's at work or in a relationship or even a finacial situation, I try to enjoy every minute...every single minute. I know that someday, THESE days will be the good ol' days...and that this, too, will be a vague memory.
And--every chance I get--though they are in their mid 20s--
I hug and kiss my babies.

My Uncle Jimmy

My mother's brother, my Uncle Jimmy, died suddenly of a heart attack yesterday. He was 62 and the father of FIVE of my cousins, the youngest, Hunter, just turned 11.
Jimmy was hilarious...and my mother absolutely ADORED him.The photo below was taken in his home in Carson City....judging by Allison's age, I'd say it was 1987 or so. Jimmy was an avid hunter and a taxidermist by trade for years. (Notice stuffed goose and hanging animal skin in photo!)Jimmy had a nickname for every one of us...he called me "Jooper" or "Joopondelay"...(you had to hear him say it...) and it has stuck to this day. He also made up silly songs about everything. One of the classics, his song about our goldfish, Chucky Wally who jumped out of his bowl on several occasions...(yeah, you had to be there...)
Love and prayers to his family, my mom and her sisters and especially to his young kids today.
Damn, I can't believe this one.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Please help support the relief efforts in Haiti

Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrow...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

One fine day

Today was a most extraordinary day. It was one of those days when I can't believe I get paid for what I do...a day when I wouldn't even call it 'work'! I had 16,800 steps (nearly 13 miles!) on my pedometer at the end of the day...and smiled every single step of the way.
The thermometer read 72 degrees when I got in the car--my cue to take the top down and turn on the music. Suddenly I was driving down Pacific Coast Highway--the ocean as far as the eye can see--and then..."Blue Jean Baby, LA Lady, Seamstress for the band..." And I began to belt it out with Elton, "Hold me closer tiny dancer...count the headlights on the highway..."!!
...and I was sooo happy. SO happy! So happy that I literally had tears streaming down my face.
Yep, it was a good day.

With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable. ~
Thomas Foxwell Buxton

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dinner at Nick's

Laura and I were invited to attend the "pre-opening" of
"Nick's" Restaurant in San Clemente.
Yep, that's us with our good friend and former co-worker, Nick!
Dinner was truly incredible--Ahi Tartare, Short rib Sliders, Fried Calamari and an absolutely FABULOUS house-made chocolate cake (a la mode of course!) We enjoyed it all with an amazing Lateral red wine.
Tucked between antique shops and ice cream parlors in old town San Clemente, the restaurant itself is just gorgeous...I can't wait to go try the other half of the menu!
Let me know when you'd like to join me!

Year Six begins today...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Five years later...

Today is January 12. It is the fifth anniversary of the day I came home to find empty suitcases waiting for me on the bed. It was not a pretty evening...
I moved out that night.
It's been a LONG five years, I assure you. Full of learning and leaning, of laughing and lamenting, of loving and libation...oh yes, how I have learned to love that!
I must say, five years later, that I am OH SO proud of where I have landed. I own my home. And it's a beautiful home...full of furniture that I hauled home from consignment stores in the back of my wagon and pushed up the stairs all by myself. Every single piece. I also hung every picture on the walls. I even built the bookshelves. (With a little help from Allison...) I own my dream car now too.
There is nothing that I'm unable to do at this point. I pay the bills, plunge the toilet and take out the trash. I can get things up into the rafters-and down from the rafters. I have even learned how to take the leaf in and out of the kitchen table on my own. I water the plants and hose down the patio and wash the windows and clean the garage and even wash my own car. I also take it in for repairs and oil changes. I know how to check the pressure in my tires. I recently called and got a better rate on my car insurance and got a deal on my home owner's insurance at the same time. I do my taxes and I just updated my will.
I cook and clean and shop and gladly do repairs around the house. I have moved TVs up and down the stairs and I hang the Christmas lights each year. I've learned to barbecue and to get the lids off jars and use an external hard drive and I know how to hook up the cable and the DVD players and the printer and how to set the DVR...

And...I read and relax and sit on my patio and drink wine and watch movies and take long baths. I sleep in on my days off and haven't made my bed in years. I plan trips and go to baseball games and see movies in the middle of the day. I go out to breakfast and lunch and dinner and have drinks with friends--as often as I can. A dinner of cereal and toast while watching the ballgame in my jammies is truly delightful! I let the house go once in a while...and dishes sometimes sit in the sink for days. And it's just fine with me!
Honestly, these were things that were most difficult to learn. And I have mastered them now.
I have learned to breathe. And I smile. And I laugh a whole lot.
Yep, I've done pretty good.
Gimme five.

Monday, January 11, 2010

As good as it gets

Do you think humans, by nature, always want 'just a little bit more'? Does every single person have one more thing in their mind that would definitely make them happy and make their life complete?
Or is it just me?
I am writing this from my bed this morning. I have yet to conquer this cold and have not been out of the house--or out of my pajamas for that matter--for the last day and half.
I am literally snuggled between my down filled feather bed and down filled comforter--my great grandmother's handmade quilt on top of all of that. And speaking of being comforted--I am in the company of my two best friends--Mac and Black(berry)--who keep me connected to the outside world regardless of my location and attire. I am so warm...and, yes, so comfortable.
I am drinking my third glass of Orange Juice and just realized that Leave it to Beaver is about to start on TV Land (I love the Beave...) Oh, my new best friend, Mr. Remote--I have nicknamed him 'Jack'--sits here with me with Mac and Black. (Oh June, how lovely you are vacuuming in heels and pearls.)
And I think...this is a pretty good place to be. I am grateful beyond belief for where I am today. Yes, even TODAY. The warmth of this bed, this house, this life.
It will be five years tomorrow that I left my other life. And started this one. I don't think it's an accident that I have been sequestered to be still to relax and reflect these last few days.
So, that one thing I (think I) am still missing? Yeah...the love of a man. That's it. And, to be perfectly honest, if you had told me five years ago that I would be alone five years later--well, I would not have believed you for one thing. I would have thought it depressing for another.
But it's been OK. In fact, it's been quite nice. I don't mind being alone and I really have learned to love the silence and peacefulness of being on my own. The freedom to do what I want whenever I want is something I don't take for granted. I didn't have that the first 41 years of my life. Honestly, if this is as good as it gets, it's damn good. Life is, indeed, very good. From the warmth of this bed, this life...I really could not ask for anything more...
And yet, I admit, five years later, there is... just one more thing...I'd like to have...
I would gladly kick out Mac, Black and Jack for that one thing I lack. A guy in the sack? A man to share my shack? Someone to scratch my back? (I'm high on cold medicine--cut me some slack...)
Yeah, I'm thinking it could be just a little better than this...
And yet, I am oh so happy and grateful for where I am today.
Yep, from the warmth of this bed, Ward and June in the distance, Mac keeping me warm and Black buzzing is really good, today.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

10 things you may not have known about me...

I have been "tagged" to come up with 10 things I have never shared...
There is actually more mystery to Julie Hibbard than you would think...(yeah ok, not really...)

Here are a few very random things you may have never known:

  1. I swear a lot. And, I sincerely enjoy it.
  2. I would work even if I didn't have to.
  3. I LOVE free stuff.
  4. If I had to choose one meal to have for the rest of my life it would be chips, guacamole and a Corona.
  5. I am most comfortable in a t shirt, jeans and flip flops.
  6. I worked at Sizzler for one day.
  7. I have never worn lipstick or eye shadow. Ever.
  8. I have passed Level 17 on Dr. Mario. On several occasions.
  9. For my college internship, I worked in the marketing department at the Taco Bell corporation.
  10. I dye my hair. (What? You knew that one??)