Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Come fly with me!

I always tell people that my children are great, grown, and gone. College graduates, living on their own--one in Los Angeles, the other in either Irvine or Africa. Each is an independent, productive member of society--and on top of all that--they are both really enjoyable people to be with!
If I do say so myself, I done good!
Each also has their own hopes and dreams.
And I have mine.
Not for them. For me.
I never experienced a syndrome of “empty nest," in fact, I have a hard time believing there is such a thing. Although, I admit, I was the one who ‘flew the coop’ a few years ago, Allison was 22 and Zac was almost 20--and I had already realized that my happiness needed to be completely independent of my grown children’s lives. They appreciate this too, by the way--it gives them the freedom to pursue their own happiness. It actually frees them up to see that in addition to the joy I have in being their mother, I am enjoying a rich and incredibly fulfilling life--independent of them.
I would go so far as to say that I believe this freedom is kind of a reward for a job well done. Can there be anything but GREAT JOY in knowing that your children are enjoying their lives?
I don’t think the second half of life has any sort of syndrome at all! Along with most women in my stage of life, my days are filled with a highly rewarding and very enjoyable job. My evenings are filled with friends and family and FOOD and fun. And books and baking and baseball and blogging! My vacations have taken me out of the country four times in the last five years and I am really loving the fact that I now have the time to cultivate and nurture relationships like I never could before.
Empty Nest Syndrome? Come on! There's so much good stuff left to do! No syndrome should even be allowed! Just the term “empty nester” sounds depressing to me! Like you're sitting in the nest hoping that the little birds might come by for a worm?
As far as I see it, we have even MORE time on THIS side of parenting. Think of all the things we can do...the places we can go. Think of all the quiet, calm, ALONE time that's ahead!
We've only just begun.

I actually think that the syndrome might just be fading away with my generation: the generation who always worked, had careers and were encouraged to have outside interests as we raised our children. Seems like we are far healthier and (dare I say, much) happier than our mothers and grandmothers were at the same point in their lives. We have more direction, deep desires and the determination to live the next half of our lives pursuing our own dreams! We are re-feathering our nests with what makes us happy and patting ourselves on the back for allowing--and encouraging--our kids to fly on their own. And, man...are we are loving the feeling of our own ride!

My children are, no doubt, my greatest accomplishments in life. They now have their own nests, their own flight paths, and their own destinations. (I am so proud of them!) They know that the nest is still here (and really clean) if they ever need a place to land or need to stop in for a quick worm or two. They also LOVE the fact that I am flying high and out there soaring on my own.

Next time you hear someone talking about their 'empty nest syndrome' tell them you've heard that's just a myth...there's no such thing!
Tell them a little bird told you that, from this point on, 'empty next syndrome' is being replaced with its actual term...
"Happily Ever After."

3 comments:

md said...

I love the thought of "Happily Ever After." You are definitely the best teacher for that. I think you're "So Close" to being practically perfect with your life. 138

Kelly said...

I'm officially an empty nester as of Tuesday and I'm thrilled!!! I can't wait for all the fun adventures I'm going to have with you (my best friend)!

robin_brown_62 said...

Empty Nest...hummmm. When you have children 17 years apart I don't think there will ever be an empty nest. I am able to enjoy the years of being a grandmother now to a 3 & 5 year old plus have a 9 year old that reminds me of how precious each and everyday is. Today is curriculum night at school for my 5th grader and every time I go to another elementary school function I think to myself "how many of these have I been to?" I always think - I have 2 college grads, both married to wonderful men, 2 beautiful granddaughters with a grandson due in December, a son that is almost 21 and serving a mission for his church and then there's Joe and here I am at another school night function. I am truly blessed to be in a place where I can truly say "I Love My Life." When I flew the nest a few years ago I never thought I would be able to say that.