Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My glass is always half full

I was talking with my cousin today…she is going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. I know it sounds out of the ordinary, but I made sure she knew how proud she should be that she had been married for 25 years. I reminded her of what a great job she did being a mom to her four amazing children and what a wonderful wife she was all those years. I told her that she should never say that she had a failed marriage--that 25 years of being married was anything but a failure. In fact, it was a quite an accomplishment.

That is how I like to look at my 23 year marriage. There is no way I would ever call it a failure--too many GREAT things came out of it! My incredible children, wonderful travels, beautiful homes, my college education and all of the experiences that molded me into the woman I am today. Gosh, we were in debt and in school for years and years (even those years have some great memories) and we worked SO hard to get to where we are now. I am so grateful for all I learned and experienced and accomplished throughout those years.
If I had worked somewhere for 23 years people would say, “WOW! How great! 23 years in the same place! Good job!” They would not say, “What a failure…why aren’t you still there?”
I really feel the same way about my marriage. Though I am not still there, I put my whole heart and soul into those 23 years. I know that I was SUCH a good mother and wife and always kept the cleanest and most organized home on the block! I went to college for 17 of those 23 years while working and raising my children...I am so proud of that!
My kids are now loving, productive, intelligent adults who are so much fun to be with! And I am grateful for how much I learned and benefited from their incredibly intelligent and hard working dad.
Those 23 years comprised all but the last 2 1/2 years of my adult life! They were--no doubt--the most productive and successful season of my life.
I know many people who have STAYED married--some quite miserably. Just because something lasts doesn't necessarily make it a success. And just because something ends, does not make it a failure. The fact that I am not still there does not negate any of the great stuff that season held--so many good memories...so many successes to remember and be grateful for.

And I have told my cousin the same thing...OK! So this is not exactly how we saw the story ending! We can choose to be remorseful over a "failure" or we can choose to look back with good thoughts and appreciation for the ride.
The future looks bright. Like my favorite saying goes...
There will come a time when you think every thing is finished. That will be the beginning."

1 comment:

Kelly said...

That was beautiful Jewels!
Happy Thanksgiving...
Love you,