Go work on your house, Julie

Six years, seven months and ten days...

(Not that I’m counting but) that’s how long I have lived on my own. (I beg of you) please do not tell me that you can’t believe it’s been that long. To me, I must admit, it seems like a very long time.

If you had told me when I left my other life that I’d be alone for seven years, I would have never believed you. I have so much love and affection to give…and SUCH a desire to KNOW someone intimately (and to be KNOWN by someone) and such a thirst to BE with someone—romantically and passionately—that, honestly, I would have thought we’d be celebrating our five year anniversary at this point.

Nope. Actually, somewhere around year two of single hood, I realized it was not going to happen for a while. And, honestly, most of the time, it's really been just fine.

You can tell me I’m too picky (or particular), that I need to learn to compromise (or settle) or that it’s going to happen when I least expect it (gag!)…but the LAST thing I am going to do is be with ANYONE who doesn't realize that I am the catch of a lifetime (next only to him, of course!)

Interestingly, I have continuously told friends that I believe MY soul mate, MY prince charming (I suppose he is possibly KING Charming at this point) is just not single.

Yet.

And deep into my seventh year on my own, I am quite aware of the fact that there is certainly nothing that I can do to make it happen any sooner.

Gratefully, I am also quite aware of the fact that I am quite capable of doing just about anything else on my own. Actually, I am able to do practically everything else on my own. I am certainly not sitting here waiting for him to knock on the door.
Instead, over the last six years I’ve traveled Europe three times, I went on a missions trip to Kenya and enjoyed MANY trips to New York City, Seattle, San Francisco and more! I've been to NINE ballparks in the last several years and have made an annual tradition of going to Dodgers' Spring Training in Phoenix with my cousins Sherri and Robin. Hell, I've bought two homes and purchased four cars! I've (finally) learned to balance a checkbook and even made a little money in the stock market. I have so many amazing friends and a loving family around--plenty of people to do things with!

Now I'm just looking forward to having someone to do nothing with.
(Except kiss a lot, of course...)

I'll admit it, I am VERY picky! But I’m also (obviously) not in any hurry. I’ve learned how lovely it is to be alone and I already know (from YEARS of experience) that it’s better to be on my own than to be with the wrong person or someone who doesn’t really want to be with me at all.

I don’t want to be anyone that someone else settles for either! I’m a prize, and at this point--(let's face it, I'm almost 50!)--I’m very happy with who I am, where I’m at in life and even with where I’m going!
I just look forward to him coming along.

eHarmony? Ehhhh. It's just not for me. I went on for about 2 weeks. Met one guy--the infamous Brad from San Diego. Yep, that was the 45 minute date. Not to be confused, of course, with the 25 minute date with Paul, the tequila salesman. Come on, if we run out of conversation before dinner arrives, let's face it, you're not the one!

Match.com? Well, yes, several years ago I was on match.com too...for maybe three weeks. One run in with a guy who confused Wrigley for Fenway—and I quickly cancelled my subscription. Hey, if you're going to pretend to like baseball, you're going to have to do a little research! Or, better idea, how about just being honest with me!

Too picky? Too bad. (Give me a guy who can truly talk baseball and it’s sweet music to my ears!)

What? He talks baseball and loves music and wants to see Tuscany? Wait! He wants to kiss me a lot? Tells me I’m beautiful and knows how I take my coffee? Holds the door, my hand and my heart?
Yep. THAT’S the one I’m waiting for.

And when he shows up, I have NO DOUBT, that I will know him instantly!
And he will be SO worth the wait...the ONLY one who is worthy of all this love I have to give!

And he'll be one HAPPY guy, let me tell you! He will NEVER stop smiling.
I guarantee it.

Til then…

I’ll be working on my house.

Simple kind of life

I am sitting here in my jammies, laptop keeping me warm, music playing softly (my latest love song mix)--and all is well in the world. I had SUCH a great day today...so great that I'm giving myself the night off from packing.
And I'm just gonna sit and smile for a while.

It's so very quiet and calm here in my sweet little apartment tonight. (Yes, every night.)
I am OH SO grateful for this very peaceful, simple, amazing and satisfying life.

You know it wasn't always this way, right?

Let me assure you that you can do anything you want to do...no matter how old you are, how much money you have or where you are on your path in life.
You can finish school, get a better job, get out of debt, lose weight, get organized--be happy!--you CAN start a new life!

Here's the key:
Figure out what you CAN control and what is truly out of your control.
You have control over a lot more than you think you do...be honest!
You have control over your destiny!
Trust me, you do.

Now change something.

And it's really very simple:
Turn off the TV and go for a walk.
Put it away! 'A place for everything and everything in its place.'
Give it away! Throw it away! Get rid of it! Less is more--I swear to you!
Go online and check out some classes (I was 37 when I graduated from college--STILL one of the greatest accomplishments of my life!)
Cut up your credit cards and make a plan to pay them off. And STOP BUYING THINGS!!
Make up a new resume. Apply for a job. And another. OK, one more!
Put the donut down!
Move to another city. Or another country. (Hell, I moved 10 miles--and found a whole new world.)
Have a plan.
Set some goals.
Give yourself a date to get it done. And get it done.
Let go of ANYTHING that is truly out of your control (Oh, damn, that feels good!)

Then, decide to live a simpler, more peaceful life...
you CAN do it.

It's never too late to live happily ever after.
Start today.

Get up, take a shower, get dressed and make a decision to move forward.
It's really pretty simple.
But the only one who can make it happen...is you.

Soooooo good!

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Just got lucky

“Lucky parents who have fine children

usually have lucky children who have fine parents.”

- James A. Brewer

Come and knock on our door...

...we've been waiting for you!

Come fly with me!

I always tell people that my children are great, grown, and gone. College graduates, living on their own--one in Los Angeles, the other in either Irvine or Africa. Each is an independent, productive member of society--and on top of all that--they are both really enjoyable people to be with!
If I do say so myself, I done good!
Each also has their own hopes and dreams.
And I have mine.
Not for them. For me.
I never experienced a syndrome of “empty nest," in fact, I have a hard time believing there is such a thing. Although, I admit, I was the one who ‘flew the coop’ a few years ago, Allison was 22 and Zac was almost 20--and I had already realized that my happiness needed to be completely independent of my grown children’s lives. They appreciate this too, by the way--it gives them the freedom to pursue their own happiness. It actually frees them up to see that in addition to the joy I have in being their mother, I am enjoying a rich and incredibly fulfilling life--independent of them.
I would go so far as to say that I believe this freedom is kind of a reward for a job well done. Can there be anything but GREAT JOY in knowing that your children are enjoying their lives?
I don’t think the second half of life has any sort of syndrome at all! Along with most women in my stage of life, my days are filled with a highly rewarding and very enjoyable job. My evenings are filled with friends and family and FOOD and fun. And books and baking and baseball and blogging! My vacations have taken me out of the country four times in the last five years and I am really loving the fact that I now have the time to cultivate and nurture relationships like I never could before.
Empty Nest Syndrome? Come on! There's so much good stuff left to do! No syndrome should even be allowed! Just the term “empty nester” sounds depressing to me! Like you're sitting in the nest hoping that the little birds might come by for a worm?
As far as I see it, we have even MORE time on THIS side of parenting. Think of all the things we can do...the places we can go. Think of all the quiet, calm, ALONE time that's ahead!
We've only just begun.

I actually think that the syndrome might just be fading away with my generation: the generation who always worked, had careers and were encouraged to have outside interests as we raised our children. Seems like we are far healthier and (dare I say, much) happier than our mothers and grandmothers were at the same point in their lives. We have more direction, deep desires and the determination to live the next half of our lives pursuing our own dreams! We are re-feathering our nests with what makes us happy and patting ourselves on the back for allowing--and encouraging--our kids to fly on their own. And, man...are we are loving the feeling of our own ride!

My children are, no doubt, my greatest accomplishments in life. They now have their own nests, their own flight paths, and their own destinations. (I am so proud of them!) They know that the nest is still here (and really clean) if they ever need a place to land or need to stop in for a quick worm or two. They also LOVE the fact that I am flying high and out there soaring on my own.

Next time you hear someone talking about their 'empty nest syndrome' tell them you've heard that's just a myth...there's no such thing!
Tell them a little bird told you that, from this point on, 'empty next syndrome' is being replaced with its actual term...
"Happily Ever After."

In the mean time...

I have a few things to work on.