See World

If you and I have ever been anywhere together, you know that I usually--OK, always--have my camera on me. Over the last five and a half years or so, I have had an intense need to chronicle my day to day life --primarily through pictures--on this blog and, more recently, through Facebook. Even if you've never been anywhere with me, you have, no doubt, seen proof of that.
But something has happened to me in the last few months. (Actually a LOT has happened to me over the last few months...) I have started to feel as though I want to keep some (if not most) experiences--the really important things--for myself. Oh, of course, I am still taking and posting pictures, but much of what really matters to me--the most special and meaningful of occasions--are not being photographed at all any more.
These things are going to be just for me.
My memory is a virtual iPhoto anyway. I remember every little detail of each and every experience. I'm finding that not having photos is actually, very often, a blessing.
Looking back over these last nearly six years, most of the things I frequently picture in my mind--most of the things I really loved and enjoyed and poured my life into--don't have a blog post or a Facebook album to prove it. It wasn't needed. With or without photos, those moments will long be remembered. By me anyway.
Though I still love to share my JOY and HAPPINESS, I've realized that I no longer need you to know what happened! Each and every image lives on--constantly and vividly--in my memory. Good or bad--
and that's permanent enough for me.
That's (the main reason) why I have decided to not take my laptop to Europe. I'll certainly be taking photos and, no doubt, posting several when I return home. But this time, this trip--this upcoming experience--is for me. I no longer need to show evidence that I am having a good time or to affirm that my life is full of adventure. I no longer feel the need to show PROOF that I have moved on. I don't need photographic confirmation to affirm that I have (finally) pulled my life together.
To be really honest, I've recently come to realize that I was actually trying to prove all those things to myself. And gratefully, there is no need to prove anything anymore.
I am the luckiest girl in the world...and I know that for sure now.
This trip is just for me.
I'm going to SEE it and FEEL it and EXPERIENCE it more this time...
Not just PHOTOGRAPH, POST and PUBLISH it.

And from now on, if we are together and I DON'T pull my camera out for a picture--consider that a compliment. I want to keep you--and our encounter, event, adventure--our time together--for ourselves.
No need to share with anyone else.
Anymore.