Will and Graze

Being of (somewhat) sound mind and body, I wrote out my will today. It's time.
Thinking about my trip to Kenya is what made me finally sit down and do it--should have been done long ago. Today I just got online (wills.com) and began to fill one out. It's simple and very easy to understand. I even put down that I want to be cremated and where I would like my ashes scattered. (I said part of me at Dodger Stadium--I want to be at all the games--and the rest at Irvine Meadows--I want to be at all the concerts.) Then I just had to fill in who gets what. Like, who gets my vast wealth and who will inherit this fabulous home which has declined in value below what I owe at this point.
Oh, but then I started thinking...who will get the 46 photo albums? My fabulous DVD collection? The Dodger bobble head dolls? My record albums/CDs and 45s!! Hello! Who is going to get my Bobby Sherman lunch pail for crying out loud!?
Yeah...here's the deal: I don't own anything of any monetary value. I have a little bit of money in the bank and I designated who gets what percentage of that. I did the same for my car, my iPod and my tickets to Counting Crows in September. That's about it for valuables.
As far as all the rest of the 'stuff' (crap, junk, knickknacks, collections, chachki!) in my house...well, I have taken care of that in my will as well. This is what I wrote out:
Following my memorial (which will be FUN, HAPPY, and full of GREAT music), there will be a FABULOUS meal served at my home. (I'm thinking Lucille's caters it and brings a VAT of that banana pudding!) There will be beer and wine flowing...and laughter will fill the house as everyone will ENJOY eating, just as I did!! At the same time, each person will be invited to 'graze'...to walk around the house and take something home, take a few things. (Hell, back up your station wagon, this woman has a lot of crap!) Seriously, if you need a VCR, a wine rack, a lot of old suitcases...take mine! If you need an Eiffel Tower...yeah, everyone in attendance gets one automatically. Take my books, my Santas, my Desert Rose dishes, the Pez dispensers
...and, for the love of God, go enjoy the rest of YOUR life.
Then, the instructions call for Goodwill to bring a large truck and hall the rest of it away. The house is then to be sold and the $10 profit to be divided evenly between my heirs.
It was a fun thing to do today, actually.
I was thinking about who might be mad that I didn't leave them money or who might have wanted to be willed those concert tickets. I can't imagine anyone 'fighting' over anything I own...but it was fun to wonder who might take what from my home.
And truly knowing that it won't matter at all to me. I'll be gone.
Relaxing in heaven.
Hopefully with a big bowl of banana pudding.