Nana and Grandpa

Last night after the Mater Dei football game, I came out of the parking lot in unfamiliar territory and was momentarily lost. I came up to Main Street and (though I am not sure why) I turned left. Suddenly I was in a wave of childhood memories as I passed by stores and restaurants of my Grandparent's Santa Ana neighborhood. There was the Ralph's...and the Savon's...and where Montgomery Ward used to be. And NORM'S! And the place that used to be the Snack Shop. And the Wooden Shoe Restaurant. I was right by the house that was their home for most of my life...
And, in perfect 'Julie Hibbard of late' fashion--I started to cry. I found the 5 freeway, and was on my way home, but tears streamed down my face as I realized what was happening...
I missed my grandparents. For the very first time.
My Nana died just about a month ago--amidst the Dodgers' clinching of the division. I was actually at a game when she died. We had a radio at her viewing and snuck outside to hear the score of the 2nd Dodgers/Cubs game. Her funeral was intentionally scheduled around the NLDS games that I had tickets for. Seriously.
All that to say...I don't think I fully processed the loss.
Last night it hit me hard. They are gone. No more stopping by for little chat, a few coupons and a capacole sandwich. No more Nana telling me that I would feel better if I would just rest or Grandpa telling me I must have been a beautiful baby...
I drove out of Santa Ana flooded with memories of that home. The pink bathroom, the Oceanana rug, and their backyard--where Gina broke her teeth playing Wonderama. And lots of cold milk in glass bottles with hot pop tarts on gas station paper towels. And tons of baby powder!
Last night I told my Grandparents--through tears--that I missed them. I apologized to Nana for being absorbed in baseball instead of being sad and grieving properly at her passing.
I swear I heard her tell me it was OK...and to go home, lock my doors and get some rest.
And Grandpa said, "Hey, I do the jokes..."