Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I'm human...

I have been singing The Killers, "Are we human, or are we dancer" for a week solid now. I pretty much have it on repeat on my iPod and listen to it over and over.
Today, I read the lyrics, and realized why I like it so much--I've been asking myself this same question all my life. As much as I love to dance--the answer is clear:
I am human. I am not dancer.
It's actually been the perfect soundtrack for the last few weeks. I've kinda been feeling like I don't belong--anywhere. I am not 'dancer' in any area of life--I don't follow the same beat or think the same thoughts or make the same moves as anyone else I know. I don't seem to fit in anywhere right now. I FEEL too deeply or THINK over things too much or am just unable to let go. Or something like that. The thing is, I can't keep dancing when I can no longer hear the music. I have to stop. I have to question. Right now, I'm human and I'm hurting and I can't fake it anymore. The world tells me to 'get over it', 'move on'...'keep dancing with the rest of us!' I just can't. I no longer know the dance. And I'm too tired to keep up. I'm so freaking human.
We batted the lyrics around a bit at lunch today...Human or Dancer?
I think it is asking--are we thinking, feeling, hurting, searching human beings OR are we following the 'steps' and 'waltzing' through life and following the beat, often PRETENDING we hear the music? Are we feelers or followers??
First off, one of the guys at the table thought it was, "Are we human or are we denser?" (At least he was thinking differently) And someone else saw the words completely opposite than the way I did. He said, "I think it asks are we just human, heart beating, vital signs going day by day OR are we dancing through life...enjoying it along the way?" I like that thought. And it rhymes.
No matter what, I love this song.

give my regards to soul and romance
they always did the best they could
and so long to devotion, you taught me everything I know
wave good bye, wish me well

you gotta let me go
are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer
are we human or are we dancer

I'm sticking with my interpretation.
I've been on my knees looking for the answer for so long now that I couldn't be 'dancer' if I wanted to. And I don't want to.
I'm unique. I don't always fit in. But that's a good thing too.
I'm in repair! I'm not together, but I'm getting there!
I'm slowly figuring it all out. And it's ok...I know I can stop dancing now.
I swear God speaks to me the only way I really ever listen--through my iPod.
I'm human, what can I say?


Anonymous said...

Heck girl, you DO think too much. It's a good song, but I don't think it needs that much thought. Or does it?
You should probably stick with "Mr. Brightside."

Paetra said...

Hi Julie,
It would appear that you are the sister of my long lost friend Leesa DiLallo. My name is Paetra and I would love to connect with her again, it has been a very long time. Would you mind passing my email on to her? Many Thanks,