Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Why women live longer than men

While talking to my 'male and six years younger' friend last night, the subject of women out-living men came up. The current average life span for women is 79. For men, 72. I told him that at this rate, though older than him, it looks like I am going to out live him.
Of course we went on to talk about why this is so. And why is it that women have ALWAYS out-lived men? Jokes aside, (I can already hear my dad saying, "Because we WANT to go first!") this does lend itself to the thought that women are truly stronger than men. Even the cancer survival rate is higher for women than for men. 56% of women survive it. 43% of men do. Again, we want to ask, why?
So last night I came up with my theory and I think it's probably pretty close to the truth. Women have to be tougher and stronger from the time they are around 12 years old--when they start having to live with pain and discomfort for one week of every single month. By the time they (we) have our first job at 16 or 17, we already know that we have to endure severe cramping, we know how to work 5 extra trips to the bathroom into an 8 hour shift and we learn quickly to trust our friends to 'check the back of us' when we walk away. It does not take us long to realize that we have to keep smiling and working hard and acting like everything is just fine through it all.
Yeah...that's if everything is normal and there aren't any issues.
Yep. We just keep going.
Then, we get pregnant. And we adapt to having a human being grow inside of us. Our stomach and breasts grow uncomfortably large and yet, we learn how to sleep and walk despite incredible fatigue and hemorrhoids and swollen feet...and...Yeah. We keep going.
And then--we give birth.
I had both of my children "naturally"--no pain medication at all, and TO THIS DAY--23 plus years later--I can vividly recall the unbelievable, excruciating pain. Indescribable. Almost unbearable. Until you see that baby. And, while they are stitching you up "down there" (yeah, THAT'S a whole OTHER kind of pain) you are holding your baby and suddenly feeling a strength that will get you through anything! I remember the nurse handing me Allison and thinking, "I will protect and love and nurture this little person. I have a reason to be strong and I will never let anything happen to this child!" Seriously, I was 19 and holding her in the hospital and I literally FELT that strong, protective nature kick in immediately.
Damn, at this point, we KNOW we can keep going!
Then they let you bring that baby home. Women spend the next 18 PLUS years cooking and cleaning and planning birthday parties and kissing boo-boos and dressing Barbies and putting Ninja Turtles back together after battle. Women were 'multi-tasking' LONG before the word became trendy. I always had a load in the washer, one in the dryer, the dishwasher going, the crock-pot cooking, the San Juan Mission being built in the living room and either the entire high school choir having a party in the back yard or 14 boys watching WWF upstairs. Throw in working in a shift at the Little League Snack Shack. And baking 30 cupcakes for the bake sale. And nursing a broken-hearted teenager. And hiding report cards. And 'buffing out' that scratch in the car before Daddy got home. Aahh...fold five loads of laundry, get dinner on the table and lunches packed and get each of them up and dropped off at school and orthodontist appointments and karate class and stop at Target for a poster board...
and, we just keep going! And then, most of us go to work!
Often while suffering cramps and making extra trips to the bathroom. And then we watch our daughters endure it as well.
Of course women live longer. We can do it ALL!
Fortunately, most of us also understand and appreciate the reward in all of this: An amazing sense of accomplishment. The pride of being able to make it all work. And the JOY of providing life and love for others. THAT'S what keeps us going.
Even when we are exhausted and enduring pain.
There's really no question as to why women live longer.
We just keep going. We have to.
We can survive anything.
And, apparently, we do.

No comments: