Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Life's like an hourglass glued to the table

After visiting my Nana last night, I cried--yet again--on the way home. It's a strange thing to think about really...this is a woman who never EVER stopped! She was always cooking, cleaning, darning socks, clipping our fingernails, doing laundry, cutting out coupons, entertaining guests, baking bread, making pasta...yeah, you get it. Her home was immaculate. I loved it. And it was full of her treasures. OK, most of her treasures came from Akron (remember Akron?) but she had several hutches full of trinkets and statues and little drawers of stuff that she loved! Stuff we kids loved to play with.
And now--she sits alone, in a room, with very few belongings. A couple of pictures, two or three religious statues. And that's about it. Nothing 'material' remains from her nearly 95 years on the planet. What a lesson.
She was better last night than she had been the last time. She was excited to see me come in and she knew that the Dodgers were only one game out of first. She could hear me better this time too.
I asked her to tell me about her best memories. She started to talk about her children--her babies. And then her trip to Europe. My grandparents spent three months traveling Europe in 1972. Every single time she tells me a story about the trip she mentions that they never made it to London. My grandpa used to tell me this every time too. Their one big regret. She is envious that I have been to London. And very envious of my upcoming trip to Kenya.
But she is most envious of one thing: my 'youth'. Last night she took my hands in hers and said, "Oh, so young...this is the best time of your life...you have your whole life ahead of you!"
This started my tears. She smiled and pulled me close to kiss her. She will be 95 in October-- more than twice my age. She was 50 when I was born and I always remember her being active and moving and being full of life. Until now of course.
I am 45 years old and she is envious of my youth. How ironic is that? Perspective at its finest.

I talked to my daughter this afternoon. I made sure she knew how very proud I am of her.
She is so full of life and love and laughter. And she is going to LIVE in Kenya!
This is the best time of her life...she has her whole life ahead of her!
Wow.
I guess we all do.

3 comments:

Allison said...

I appreciated that about you, too...thank you for being so verbally affirming!

Eliane said...

Oh Julie!!! I know how much your Nana means to you. So glad you got to apend time with her and that she was doing better. She is a neat lady.

Chris T (alanna's mom) said...

This past week we went to Sacramento to visit my 97 year old grandfather! He is doing so great! He still drives, cuts his own lawn and tends to his garden! As I massaged his feet he told us stories of his life and things that had happened to him when he was a boy....of course many of them are the same ones he told last time I was there....which is ok because I love hearing them and there's always something added! Like you, I look at my own life and everything I have to be thankful for (even middle-aged YOUTH) when I spend time with my grandfather!
Someday, it will be our grandchildren sitting with us...
Continue making those wonderful memories!