The Dating Game

I tend to get along well with everyone. And, honestly, I can start and carry on a conversation with just about anyone. I totally enjoy getting to know new people and I always have a good time...no matter the circumstances.
These facts, unfortunately I think, make harder for me to date.

Over the last two years, I have gone out on "a" date with five men. "A" date meaning one. I will tell you that each of these men was kind and considerate and most of them had a love for baseball and/or music. I will also tell you that I never lacked for conversation with these men--we always found plenty of things to talk about. But no matter how many things we had in common--something was simply not there.
It's chemistry. You can love baseball and dancing...The Police and Patron and Paris...but without chemistry...it's just not gonna fly. I'm looking for sparks! Excitement! Butterflies in the stomach! Aren't we all? Bottom line--I have to want to kiss him. If not, no matter how wonderful the guy, no matter how great the conversation...there is no reason for a second date. I have learned now how to say, "I don't think we click" with kindness and honesty. And very quickly. Of course, I have had to learn to receive this line graciously as well. There's been no drama whatsoever.
I am not looking for a new 'friend'. That's not what dating is about. Not for me anyway. I already have lots of incredible friends. I only go on a date if I feel the man might be 'Mr. Right.' Call me a dork with a fairytale dream, but I am looking for the love of my life. For the man who makes my heartbeat. I am looking for 'the one'. I have plenty of friends to have dinner with.
And so, I have had THREE second dates, which is dinner at my house. I always joke that the checker at Ralph's sees the makings for manicotti in my basket and says, "Date two, huh Julie?"
I just think you can tell SO much about someone when they come to your home! Do they look around the house and compliment the decor? Do they ask about the peoples' pictures on the wall? Do they want to look at my European Vacation photos? Do they put the toilet seat down??
Ok so there's only been TWO third dates. Let's look at the bright side of this. I don't have to cook very often and I don't have to buy a lot of clothes. I have told people that I have my 'first date, second date and third date' outfits. Then I just start over. You absolutely know after that third date. Absolutely.
As far as I see it, the hardest part of the entire dating process is learning how to say, "No thank you" when someone you are not interested in asks you out. I have done this a couple of times now and I hope I never get good at it. It's really tough for me. But I think it saves everyone's feelings in the long run.
Well, that's not really the hardest part.
The hardest part is the fact that most of the men I am interested in don't seem to be interested in me. Waiting and hoping for the phone to ring at 44 is just as confusing and painful as I remember it being at 16. I have been told that I am intimidating. Too strong. Too independent. But as the great Popeye always said, "I am what I am."
And that, my friends, is the best part of this whole deal. I know exactly who I am. Not one doubt in my mind! And I know exactly what I am looking for...a happy, friendly, kind man who makes me giddy, makes me feel beautiful, thinks I'm hilarious and wants to kiss me a lot. And, of course, I totally have to want to kiss him back.
I'm in no hurry. And, actually it's getting really fun.
I went on my first FOURTH date last week. I had to buy a new outfit.
And I was giddy the whole time...