If I tell you that someone called me 20 times today...you know what that means.If I tell you 500 people were standing at my desk this morning...you know what I am saying, right? If I mention that I had to make 8,000 copies for a guy, you know it just means I made a lot, right?
I was telling my neighbor that today was Mexican food day at work and that I ate like 37 taquitos for lunch. Obviously, I did not. I ate three--but that's too many--and 37 represents the fact that I had too many. You knew that, right?
Did I tell you that I had to make 50 trips to the market to get everything I needed for my Easter party? And that I have listened to "In Repair" by John Mayer 112 times today? How about the fact that I had to go to TEN different Nordstroms to find the jeans I was looking for...
My name is Julie Hibbard....and I am an exaggerator. Big time. Probably the biggest exaggerator on Earth.
I exaggerate all day, every day...and I have tried a thousand times to stop.
The thing is...those who know me, get that. No questions asked!
But...those who don't get it...well, it drives them nuts! They question everything I say as if I speak another language or something. Our Banquet Director, Jose, got angry at me yesterday when I told him I had to drive to Antarctica to find the items he had me purchase. And today I told him that I hate having to walk down to room 266 cause it's 300 miles away. He HATES that I say that! And he acts like he doesn't understand what I am saying! He says, "Really? 300 miles?"
And it cracks me up.
I could write about this for DAYS...but I have company coming tomorrow and I have a thousand things to get ready! First tho, I am going to eat my Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich...
I poured a gallon of chocolate syrup on it!
6 comments:
oh gosh I love you. And I love that you exagggggerate as much as I do!
I enjoy people who constantly speak in hyperbole...they are more interesting!!
Let me know how the game goes...for some reason we don't get a lot of Angels games here in LV.
I bet you're telling everyone there'll be over 100,000 people at the Dodger/Red Sox ball game this weekend!
I am laughing SO hard...this is the cutest blog ever! I do the same thing and it drives my husband NUTS....he takes me SO seriously and I still do it! It's really not to start something...it just comes out and I can't make it stop...it's like millions of words that are spewing out my mouth..millions I tell you millions! My mind has trillions of thoughts that need to be worked into trillions of things to say! My favorite is when he falls asleep when I talk and when I ask him if he is sleeping he swears he closed his eyes for a second...that's an exagggerationnnnnn if I ever heard one! A SECOND my....
This is the honest-to-God truth...
At lunch time I went to Subway to get a tuna sandwich...maybe because it's Easter week in the I.E. there were 5,000 kids in line in front of me...I left tuna sandwichless...what drove me even crazier was that these kids when asked what they wanted had not decided yet...so I went to Farmer Boys accross the street and sat thru the drive thru line behind at least two dozen cars...
Pete, I would have found a way to make/buy you lunch had you been in the neighborhood! Lunch with kids on Spring Break...well, mine would have been there but trust me way better than THOSE kids! Farmer Boys...Pete DON'T EAT THERE we need you around for a LOT longer!
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