Thursday, December 20, 2007

Thoughts to ponder....

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your
thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the "Alphabet song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your Ass?
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

5 comments:

Ange said...

My favorites...all good questions!:
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -- I totally sang it!
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Add to this list:
Why didn't the eagles from Lord of the Rings just fly the ring to Mordor?

Heidi B said...

Those are excellent questions. When do you plan on posting the answer to all of them? ;-)

PETE Di LALLO said...

I love the "Slinky' one and I bet Gina does too...
have a wonderful party tonight...

Sarah said...

Very funny! My mom and I were just talking about Slinkies last night. Do they still make them? If so, I want one!

Emo Cass said...

Haha fun..You got most of those from the email I sent you right?