My neighbor was out front washing his car as I was taking my trash cans out the other night. "Bet you wish you had a husband to do that for you, huh?" he yelled out.I looked around. "Are you talking to me?" I asked. I continued, "I had a husband for 23 years...I took the trash cans out then too!"
We laughed. Of course, I wasn't kidding. But wheeling the trash bins out once a week is the last thing I need a spouse for! Come on, it takes a total of 12 seconds and requires no strength and/or brain power whatsoever!
But I will say now, after five years of being single, there are a few things I wouldn't mind having a little help with:
1. The remote controls. Seriously, I have three televisions, two DVD players, a DVR, a VCR (and a partridge in a pear tree!) For some reason, I STILL need THREE remotes to watch a freaking movie. I KNOW, right?!
2. My finances. For the love of God, I hate keeping track of money! I hate bills, checkbooks, credit cards, recurring debits, the stock market and all things attached to the word 'account'. I have taken financial education classes, downloaded Suze Orman to my iPod and have spent multiple lunches with my tax man and my investment broker. It's still a struggle. (I will say though, I have succeeded in turning my investment guy into a baseball fan, and he did let me drive his 911 once, so it hasn't been a total loss.)
3. Car maintenance. Oil, water, coolant. Belts, hoses, filters. Fuses, cylinders, spark plugs. Inflated, rotated, balanced. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Oh, and car insurance, registration and SMOG CHECKS?! Thank God for 'Mac' down at the Jiffy Lube. I stop there once a month or so and he happily fills my tires or changes a fuse. Oh, and he asks me out on a date every single time. (PS I always kindly say no. But he keeps asking.)
4. Yeah, you know #4. I would LOVE to have someone to kiss (a lot) and maybe watch a little baseball with. And then kiss some more. Yep. THAT I'd like.
But as far as taking the trash cans out...Please! I will gladly take the trash out, make dinner, do laundry, clean the house and call his mother...in exchange for a little help in the other areas.
Especially #4.
We laughed. Of course, I wasn't kidding. But wheeling the trash bins out once a week is the last thing I need a spouse for! Come on, it takes a total of 12 seconds and requires no strength and/or brain power whatsoever!
But I will say now, after five years of being single, there are a few things I wouldn't mind having a little help with:
1. The remote controls. Seriously, I have three televisions, two DVD players, a DVR, a VCR (and a partridge in a pear tree!) For some reason, I STILL need THREE remotes to watch a freaking movie. I KNOW, right?!
2. My finances. For the love of God, I hate keeping track of money! I hate bills, checkbooks, credit cards, recurring debits, the stock market and all things attached to the word 'account'. I have taken financial education classes, downloaded Suze Orman to my iPod and have spent multiple lunches with my tax man and my investment broker. It's still a struggle. (I will say though, I have succeeded in turning my investment guy into a baseball fan, and he did let me drive his 911 once, so it hasn't been a total loss.)
3. Car maintenance. Oil, water, coolant. Belts, hoses, filters. Fuses, cylinders, spark plugs. Inflated, rotated, balanced. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Oh, and car insurance, registration and SMOG CHECKS?! Thank God for 'Mac' down at the Jiffy Lube. I stop there once a month or so and he happily fills my tires or changes a fuse. Oh, and he asks me out on a date every single time. (PS I always kindly say no. But he keeps asking.)
4. Yeah, you know #4. I would LOVE to have someone to kiss (a lot) and maybe watch a little baseball with. And then kiss some more. Yep. THAT I'd like.
But as far as taking the trash cans out...Please! I will gladly take the trash out, make dinner, do laundry, clean the house and call his mother...in exchange for a little help in the other areas.
Especially #4.
8 comments:
Goodness, this may be the fastest I've ever read a post!
Hi,
this is a site for managing car maintenances: car maintenances
I miss my husband for hanging Christmas lights only! Wait, he still does it for me and we aren't married. Ok, unplugging the sink and toilet too, only because I don't want to.
How funny. I always hung the Christmas lights too! And unplugged the sinks and toilets as well!
I never minded doing any of those things...truly.
And it prepared me well for these days.
Excellent
I Especially like the title...
Seriously, I can't believe you don't write for a newspaper or magazine. This post is one of my favorites, yet! I had such a geat time at the Angel game with you & Lorraine last night (hee hee)! Honestly, as long as we're eating, drinking and laughing I don't care where the heck we are!!! XO
HI Julie,
I have been reading your blog for a long time, I love it! I have never posted a comment but I have to agree with Kelly...you seriously should write for a magazine or newspaper!!
Please publish SOMETHING !!!!
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