I was laying in the bathtub tonight (yep, with a glass of wine) thinking--and crying--but mostly thinking...I am in the most amazing place in life right now. I am literally living the life that I always DREAMED of. I own a beautiful home, I have an incredible job, I have an AWESOME car. And I have two great kids who are fun, loving, kind, educated, independent adults. I have thousands of photographs and amazing memories from all the trips and adventures I have experienced over the years. I have great relationships with my extended family...and most of them live within a few miles. And I have friends! I have SO many deep, genuine friendships! In the last few weeks I've been out with friends for drinks, to dinner, to the gym, to the movies...even sat one night with an high school friend talking til 3am. (And I am SO looking forward to my trip to Spring Training with my baseball loving cousins and friends!)
I say it and I mean it--LIFE IS GOOD!
Tonight is the first night in I don't know how long that I am not out. I am wrapped up in a blanket here on the couch...relaxing and reading and catching up on my recorded TV shows.
And it's kind of nice.
The thing is, there is still one thing I am hoping for--one thing that I still feel is missing: a man to love me and man for me to love. (Ideally, this will be the same man.) Someone who will hold my hand and kiss me and laugh with me and lay with me and relax with me...and look at me and smile. Someone to just BE with me.
Hmm, I just figured it out...
I've got plenty of people to do things with.
I just don't have anyone I can do nothing with.
That's all. It's fine. Life goes on and once again I will admit--if this is as good as it gets, it's pretty dang good.
Almost feel guilty hoping for that one more thing.
Almost.
3 comments:
Julie, I recognize this. Life is funny that way, it give us and it takes from us. You will meet him, when you least expect it. And when you focus on something else.;) Life is funny that way too.;)
Besides, you have everything many only dream about.
xo
Zuzana
Oh Julie, I know this feeling well. Perhaps not the particulars of your situation, but the faint sense of being unsettled, like something's not quite in place. Just keep living with gratitude and never lose faith. He's out there...right now...never losing faith that he will find YOU!
I, for one, cannot wait until this man finds you. Holy Cow, he's gonna be SO excited! Girl of his dreams! She loves baseball and reads the sports page and wants to go out on adventures!
Hang in there, Jules. You are the prize of a lifetime for some very lucky man.
Maybe he is not single yet? Enjoy the car and your job and your house til he's ready for you. And keep showing the world that beautiful smile.
Man, is he going to be a happy guy.
JJ
Post a Comment