Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hear me roar!

While talking to the incredibly interesting people I work with at lunch today, the subject of women out living men came up. Someone at the table had just read an article stating that the current average life span for women is 79 and for men, 72. Married men out live single men, and single women out live married women. Looking around the table of mostly single, 20-something guys, I told them that the proof was in--I am going to out live them all!
Of course we went on to talk about why this is so...and why is it that women have ALWAYS out-lived men?
Jokes aside, (I can already hear my dad saying, "Because we WANT to go first!") this does lend itself to the thought that women are basically stronger than men. Even the cancer survival rate is higher for women than for men. 56% of women survive it. 43% of men do. Again, why?
All afternoon I thought about it and I came up with a theory that I think it's probably pretty close to the truth: women have to be tougher and stronger from the time they are around 12 years old--when they start having to live with hassle and discomfort for one week of every single month. By the time they (we) have our first job at 16 or 17, we already know how to endure severe pain, while working 5 extra trips to the bathroom into an 8 hour shift and we learn quickly to trust our friends to 'check the back of us' when we walk away. It does not take us long to realize that we have to keep smiling and working hard and acting like everything is just fine through it all.
Yep. We just keep going.
Then, we get pregnant. And we adapt to having a human being grow inside of us. Our stomach and breasts grow uncomfortably large and yet, we learn how to sleep and walk and keep on working--despite incredible fatigue, weight gain and swollen feet...(I waitressed at Coco's until two weeks before each of my babies was born--and I was still the best waitress there!)
and....we keep going.
And then--we give birth.
I had both of my children "naturally"--no pain medication at all, and TO THIS DAY--26 plus years later--I can vividly recall the unbelievable, excruciating pain. Indescribable. Almost unbearable. Until you see that baby. And, while they are stitching you up "down there" (yeah, THAT'S a whole OTHER kind of pain) you are holding your baby and suddenly feeling a strength that will get you through anything! I remember the nurse handing me Allison and thinking, "I will protect and love and nurture this little person. I have a reason to be strong and I will never let anything happen to this child!" Seriously, I was 19 and holding her in the hospital and I literally FELT that strong, protective nature kick in immediately. When they handed me Zachary, I was a mature 21 and knew that I was going to be the strong mom that he would need to be an amazing man. (And, I was going to teach him to pitch.)
Damn, at this point, we KNOW we can keep going!
Then they let you bring that baby home. Women spend the next 18 PLUS years cooking and cleaning and planning birthday parties and kissing boo-boos and dressing Barbies and putting Ninja Turtles back together after battle. Women were 'multi-tasking' LONG before the word became trendy. I always had a load in the washer, one in the dryer, the dishwasher going, the crock-pot cooking, the San Juan Mission being built in the living room and either the entire high school choir having a party in the back yard or 14 boys watching WWF upstairs. Throw in working in a shift at the Little League Snack Shack. And baking 30 cupcakes for the bake sale. And then nursing a broken-hearted teenager. And hiding report cards. And 'buffing out' that scratch in the car before Daddy got home. Aahh...fold five loads of laundry, get dinner on the table and lunches packed and get each of them up and dropped off at school and orthodontist appointments and karate class and stop at Target for a poster board and...we just keep going! And then--HELLO!--most of us go to work! All the while...making it look effortless!
Often while suffering that now scheduled hassle and pain...and helping our daughters to endure it as well.
Of course women live longer. We can do it ANYTHING!
Fortunately, most of us women also understand and appreciate the reward in all of this:
An amazing sense of accomplishment! The pride of being able to make it all work! And the absolute JOY of providing an amazing life and unending love for others.
THAT'S what keeps us going.

There's really no question as to why women live longer.
We have to!
We can survive anything.
And, apparently, we do.

3 comments:

PETE Di LALLO said...

WOW!!!!!!

138 said...

Amazing insight for those who are not women and justified validation for those that are! Your writing is inspirational and educational. Your thought process should be shared with a much larger community. 138

Sarah said...

I don't like the idea of men living to 72....my dad is 70! That worries me a bit.