I have heard this said quite often…but have only just begun to use the phrase myself.I am never quite sure if it is supposed to mean,
“It’s hard to explain, but I’m OK with it…”
OR if it actually means, “I am completely helpless and I have no idea what’s going on with the situation, but I want you to think that I'm totally accepting of the way it is.”
Let me assure you that if you hear ME saying it--it's the latter.
I guess I always view those words as a cop out of sorts. When someone explains something to me and ends it with "it is what it is", I think they're saying that they know the situation is probably not going to change, and they're gonna try to get over it.
So is it actually a healthy way of (at least sounding like you are) accepting that which you are unable to change? OR is it really just giving up? Seriously, I wonder.
I have always been one to over-think and over-analyze situations. I dissect, tear apart, evaluate and re evaluate everything. I like to fix things--I like to work on things and make them better. I am rarely happy with the status-quo and I do not give up. Well, not easily.
To me, "It is what it is" does NOT mean you are happy with the way things are.
It means you've accepted (for now) that they are not the way you wish they were.
There are current situations in my life that completely defy definition. I've (temporarily and perhaps partially in some cases) accepted them, but I will never stop trying to fix them and make them better: having to sell my beautiful home at a loss due to my complete inability to re-finance. Dealing and relating to certain family (and former family) members. Sporadic job insecurities. A lifetime battle with my weight! Then there's the question of why I am still alone after six years, (or how about why I haven't really even dated) and, what the hell I am going to do every single day for the next FORTY plus years...
In an attempt to explain to you the absolute irony in the fact that these situations are actually incredibly difficult (if not absolutely impossible) for me to understand--but I will continue to try--you will (now) hear me say,
“It is what it is.”
Then, I guess it's up to you to figure out if I am really ok with it or if I feel completely helpless about the situation.
Oh yeah, I already told you...
it's the latter.
“It’s hard to explain, but I’m OK with it…”
OR if it actually means, “I am completely helpless and I have no idea what’s going on with the situation, but I want you to think that I'm totally accepting of the way it is.”
Let me assure you that if you hear ME saying it--it's the latter.
I guess I always view those words as a cop out of sorts. When someone explains something to me and ends it with "it is what it is", I think they're saying that they know the situation is probably not going to change, and they're gonna try to get over it.
So is it actually a healthy way of (at least sounding like you are) accepting that which you are unable to change? OR is it really just giving up? Seriously, I wonder.
I have always been one to over-think and over-analyze situations. I dissect, tear apart, evaluate and re evaluate everything. I like to fix things--I like to work on things and make them better. I am rarely happy with the status-quo and I do not give up. Well, not easily.
To me, "It is what it is" does NOT mean you are happy with the way things are.
It means you've accepted (for now) that they are not the way you wish they were.
There are current situations in my life that completely defy definition. I've (temporarily and perhaps partially in some cases) accepted them, but I will never stop trying to fix them and make them better: having to sell my beautiful home at a loss due to my complete inability to re-finance. Dealing and relating to certain family (and former family) members. Sporadic job insecurities. A lifetime battle with my weight! Then there's the question of why I am still alone after six years, (or how about why I haven't really even dated) and, what the hell I am going to do every single day for the next FORTY plus years...
In an attempt to explain to you the absolute irony in the fact that these situations are actually incredibly difficult (if not absolutely impossible) for me to understand--but I will continue to try--you will (now) hear me say,
“It is what it is.”
Then, I guess it's up to you to figure out if I am really ok with it or if I feel completely helpless about the situation.
Oh yeah, I already told you...
it's the latter.
3 comments:
I think it can be both. It might be what it is, but if you refuse to accept it, you do what you can to change it. If you try everything and it isn't going to change, then it is what it is.
Clear as mud?
Julie, I blogged about this very subject. I was hearing it everywhere and it bugged me. It sounds like defeat, like giving up. I mean, sure, there are things we can't control. And believe me, I'm quite acquainted with the white water of life's rapids. Life can suck royally. But the difference between "it is what it is" and "it's all good" is perspective. If life hands you a shitty situation that you can't seem to get your arms around, you don't have to say "it is what it is." Say "it's all good." It feels so much better! By saying "it is what it is" you are staring miserably at the mountain in front of you that you cannot seem to move. By saying, "it's all good" the mountain becomes more than just an obstacle...it becomes this beautiful thing that is just part of the ever changing topography of our lives.
It is what it is at that moment. Everything always changes. For good or for bad and sometimes you don't know at the moment that maybe it will be good for you. I think it is another way of saying, "Go with the flow." :)
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