I was standing in a long line at Staples yesterday...minding my own business. I was wearing a Dodgers tee shirt--yet still minding my own business--when the guy in front of me said,"I heard they signed Manny."
I said, "What?! In the last 15 minutes??!" I check the Dodgers website five or six times a day and had just looked at it before I ran to Staples...there was no way! And there was REALLY no way I wanted a dork holding office supplies to be the one to break this news to me!!
I pulled my phone out of my bag to see if there were emails/text messages/voice mails for me...I KNOW I would have a few (dozen) people who would have already contacted me about Manny if it had truly happened. NOTHING.
In the mean time, the guy says, "Chill Dude...I was kidding. I just wanted to see if you were really a fan."
Really? My mind was racing and wondering if I really needed the ream of paper I was holding.
I decided to just say, "OK" which (since my most recent stint in therapy) is my favorite answer to just about everything. No need to defend myself or tell him he's an a**hole. I just smiled, nodded and looked away.
But he didn't stop "Can you explain the infield fly rule?"
For the love of GOD, dude, put your pencil sharpener and your glue sticks up...
on the counter, pay for them and get out of my face!
But there was no way that I was going to say anything at all to this pencil-purchasing pain in the neck. I just raised my eyebrows and shook my head. No answer was my answer.
He kinda chuckled (barf) and turned around.
Ridiculous, right?
By the way, I can, indeed explain the infield fly rule and love to do so with anyone who is truly interested in learning more about the beautiful game of baseball. But I certainly would not waste my breath proving my knowledge to a sad man buying glue sticks at 3 in the afternoon.
Especially one who messed with me about Manny.
PS No matter the outcome with Manny--whether he signs with the Dodgers or not--I will continue to love and support the team, follow and ENJOY each game, and wear my Dodgers tee shirts often...and with pride!
And mind my own freaking business.
3 comments:
For the fun of it and if we were face to face I'd ask you to name 7 ways (or more because I only know 8) for a batter to get to first base without getting a hit...
I'll trust that you won't look it up, and,
have a great day...
1. hit
2. error
3. walk
4. hit by pitch
5. dropped third strike
6. catcher's interference
7. fielder's choice
8.??
Considering I have no idea what you and dad are talking about, I think that the dork in Staples could have been the man of your dreams. And how come buying a ream of paper at 3 in the afternoon is better than buying glue sticks?
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