I know it might sound a tad selfish…but I’m making a starting right now, new-life resolution to stop worrying about everyone else, stop helping everyone else and stop THINKING of everyone else…and a promise to start just taking care of me. (And Dave, of course.)
Let me explain a bit more so you know where I'm coming from. Whenever I’m going somewhere (shower, party, ballgame, dinner) I instinctively think ‘OH, 'so and so' would LOVE this…OR "I should invite her to go too!’ OR, “wow…I think I’ll get extra tickets so we ALL can have fun…”
Then, something happens: Frustration, resentment, nervousness--and I end up getting angry (at myself of course) because it doesn’t work out the way I ‘saw’ it being. It becomes frustrating or confusing or doesn’t happen at all or just doesn’t work out for one reason or another. People decide they can’t make it (last minute), don’t feel good, THEY ARE LATE SHOWING UP--or, once we get there they aren’t having as much fun as I am (or, I’m not having as much fun as they are!), or they whine, complain, etc, etc, etc….and I sit there WISHING I had just come alone. Or stayed home!
I frustrate myself trying to be sure everyone is taken care of, feels good, and is enjoying themselves.
Yes, I’m the one who ends up angry. Yes. At me.
And so the reason for my new life resolution: it’s time for me to stop worrying about including everyone else. I’m going to be taking a little sabbatical from helping others have fun.
And, I’m going to start planning and ENJOYING life with just me. (And Dave.)
Does anyone really care anyway? I am fairly sure no one is even going to notice!
Dave and I are very much alike in this way and need to hold each other accountable.
We need to just start worrying about just us.
We’ll go to dinner, to a movie, to a game.
And be on time and laugh together and enjoy each moment and just take care of each other.