I am currently in a (temporarily) permanent state of preoccupation.Preoccupied:
- Absorbed in thought; engrossed.
- Excessively concerned with something; distracted.
Since my home has been on the market, I seriously cannot focus on anything besides trying to figure out where I am supposed to be going.
In the past, when searching for somewhere to live, I have walked into a place and have KNOWN this is where I am supposed to be.
In the last 30 plus years, when choosing a home, I have always FELT it was right from the minute I walked in. But in the past 30 days of house hunting, I have not yet felt the 'I am supposed to be here' vibe. I've viewed over a dozen apartments/condos/town homes. None of them has felt like home.
Sadly, my own home has now become 'my house.' My furniture is gone, most of the place is empty and there are packed up boxes every where.
I don't belong here anymore either.
It is no longer my home.
Home:
1. a. An environment offering security and happiness.
b. A valued place regarded as a refuge.
And so I am preoccupied.
Where am I going?
Where am I supposed to be?
I apologize for this (temporary) distraction from my otherwise highly enjoyable life.
I know, this, too, shall pass.
I so look forward to being home again.
3 comments:
This is so hard, Julie; I'm sorry! I remember when I was looking for my wedding dress, everyone said I'd just know. Well, I looked and looked and never got that "feeling." I ended up finding one that I loved, but I never felt like "this is it!" Gosh, I don't really have a moral to the story, but I think maybe give yourself a break. You're not at the same place you were for the last 30 years. Maybe you really don't know where you need to be. And that's okay. I say, go easy on yourself, and just lean into what feels good. xo
Do not worry Julie, it will come. You have no figured it out yet, have not found the right home yet. But you will, trust me. When the time is right it will be there.;)
xoxo
I always feel that way about things- I will JUST KNOW when something is right-the car that is meant to be our family's,the house we live in etc. Good luck with your search! I hope you find the place that says "you are home!" soon!
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